Peter Partridge has been charged with the murder of Simon Seagull.

Peter and Simon used to be best friends. Peter had a girlfriend from Cuba called Roberta Robin, but she became frightened of him because of his violent mood swings and found solace in the arms of Simon, with whom she started to have an affair. It is alleged that Peter followed Simon home from the pub one night and stabbed him in a dark alley, before dousing him in petrol and setting him alight. With reference to cases, statutes and conventions, advise on the admissibility of the following evidence at the trial of Peter, including, where relevant, advice on how the judge should direct the jury. i) Peter was arrested and taken to the police station for questioning. He was given the statutory caution and was asked by P.C. Penguin if he wanted to have the services of a solicitor. Peter replied: “How could I afford a solicitor?

They’re not for the likes of me!” No solicitor was called for. Peter was then locked in a police cell for 6 hours, before being brought before D.C. Dove and D.C. Flamingo for questioning. Dove asked him why he had killed Simon, to which Peter said: “I cannot answer that!” Dove said: “Well you had better try, or we will be here for a very long time.” Flamingo said: “Or we could try some of our special methods to speed things up a bit!” Dove then produced a gory photograph of Simon’s burnt body and shouted at Peter: “Look what you’ve done! You’re a monster! Just admit it!” Peter screamed when he saw the photograph, and said: “How could I have done that? And to my best friend! Perhaps I am a monster after all!” ii) Roberta gave a written statement to the police in which she recalled how Simon had told her about threats that Peter had made to him, saying that he would get his revenge on him for stealing his girlfriend. Roberta has now returned home to Cuba and has indicated that she will not come back to England for Peter’s trial. iii) Following a lawful search of Peter’s internet history, the police have discovered that he is a member of a group called; “Burn in Hell!” which advocates that sinners should be burnt to death.