Summary of Passage Ideas on a Happy Marriage
While there is no recipe for a successful marriage, various factors have contributed to a happy and successful marriage. This passage mentions a few findings pertaining to the link between self-development and flouring relationships. The passage mentions various studies from researchers affiliated with renowned sources. One of the important ideas that the authors present is that when a person improves themselves, it translates to an improved relationship. The passage insists on the fact that partners feel better feeding off the growth of each other. Another idea that emerges in the passage is that developing oneself actively makes couples flourish. The passage also notes that according to traditional wisdom, putting a relationship first was the secret behind a happy marriage. However, recent studies point to the fact that the happiest marriages are those where partners prioritize individual happiness. In the New York Times, Tara Parker-Pope writes that in modern marriages, people continuously seek partners that make their lives more exciting.
`Another important idea that the passage brings to light is the concept of self-expansion. Self-expansion is the ideology that people use relationships as a way to expand on their experiences and knowledge. According to the passage, numerous people feel improved if they have a partner that stimulates them. Individuals that encounter self-growth because of their partners tend to be happier and more committed in relationships. The passage also talks about the findings of researcher Gary Lewandowski who asked couples to rate their partner’s contribution to personal growth. His study found that while self-expansion comes off as self-serving, it made relationships more sustainable and strong. In essence, if a person is looking for growth and finds it in a partner, it places the partner in a rather important position. Additionally, Lewandowski notes that contributing to a partner’s self-expansion makes a person feel good about themselves. Moreover, the authors in the passage insist on the need for couples in long-term relationships to partake in new and exciting experiences together. While it may seem obvious, it is easy for couples to forget to make their relationship interesting, which leads to boredom in marriage. At this point, both parties easily get lost in the relationship hence the need to keep learning, learning, and changing.
Response to the Passage Ideas
In my viewpoint, I agree with the ideas fronted by the researchers in this passage. I can relate to seeking self-growth from a relationship as it is something I have encountered personally and witnessed happen from people that I know. To start with, the notion of self-expansion is a reality to me. When I look back at all the relationships I have had in the past, I was always dating, or all my prospective dates were individuals that were smarter than me and had some value to offer to my life. While I did not select them inherently, I now realize that that is a quality I yearn for in a relationship. I crave someone who will teach me things and feed my mind and soul the right way. In my opinion, if your partner does not help you advance in one aspect of your life or another, then something is amiss somewhere. I would find such a relationship boring. If a person cannot push me towards growth, I do not think I would want to be associated with them in the long run. I completely agree that first-time experiences are key for a long-term relationship. People tend to get bored quickly, to keep the flame alive and burning, couples should consider taking romantic getaways, date nights, movie dates to avoid getting bored. Human beings get tired of routine easily hence the need to keep trying out new and exciting activities that you both enjoy. One might be surprised at the amount of effect a weekend getaway can have on the relationship of a struggling couple that are too busy working a nine to five job and barely has time for each other. I agree with the findings in the passage that finding creative ways to keep a spark and avoid boredom may seem obvious but most couples easily forget about it. I affirm that most modern marriages seem to be struggling because people tend to be so absorbed with work, duties, and bills that they neglect their relationships. It is also very easy for people to get distracted in the current era of technology and the internet. This makes it hard for people to focus on people and relationships that really matter.
I completely agree with the findings that people tend to feed each other’s growth in relationships. When both parties become actively invested in self-growth, they are more likely to flourish. This is true because I have witnessed it happen. I have seen some of my friends dating partners that were accomplished, and without a doubt, it did not take them long to catch on and develop themselves. They took time away from everybody and worked on themselves. Couples that teach each other things tend to last for long because their relationship is always exciting. I have particularly seen this work for couples with a huge age difference (25+ years). In my opinion, the reason these relationships tend to be more successful than regular relationships is that the older person serves in the capacity of a partner as well as a guide. Because they are older, they know more about life from experience. They tend to understand each other more than couples that are of the same age because they are always discovering and teaching each other new things. Similarly, the older partner benefits equally from their younger partner as they keep their souls alive. Interacting with young energy makes them flourish as it reminds them of their younger days. Additionally, I agree with the findings that the concept of marriage has changed over time. It might be true that putting the marriage first might had made traditional marriages last long however, this is far from the truth for modern marriages. Without a doubt, people are seeking more out of their partners; they want people that will add oomph to their lives. They are seeking fun and self-growth from relationships.
Most Significant Idea
From my standpoint, the most significant idea from the passage is that people seek partners that will make their lives more interesting. This notion stands out as it summarizes the factor that makes a marriage successful or a failure. I could not agree more with this notion. Boring marriages rarely last, but marriages where couples take time to try out new and exciting activities from time to time, tend to last for longer. I agree that adding spice to a relationship makes it more fun. If a partner is not exciting and they do not contribute to one’s growth, the couple will likely flourish. The idea of self-expansion is a reality. People want to acquire new experiences and knowledge.